The concept of closet alcoholics is an important one for the family and friends of an alcoholic to be aware of. Addicts are often in denial, using every means - including lying or even stealing - to engage in their negative behaviors without being discovered and having to take responsibility for their actions.
Knowing how to identify a closet drinker and take the correct course of action can potentially save them from much greater harm. In this article, premium addiction rehabilitation specialists, Avenues Recovery will explain more about what a closet alcoholic is, their signs, and how to help a loved one who is a closet alcoholic.
What is a Closet Alcoholic?
A closet alcoholic (or closet drinker) is someone who is hiding an alcohol abuse problem from family and friends, often taking great pains to hide evidence of their addiction. A closet drunk may use funds from a different bank account to purchase alcohol and store their bottles of alcohol in a discreet location.
The goal of the closet alcoholic is to drink as much as they want without anyone finding out, since that would require them to take responsibility for their drinking, admit that the addiction has gotten out of control, and pursue recovery. A closet alcoholic may be hiding alcohol and engaging in secretive drinking for several reasons. They may be feeling:
- Ashamed of their drinking
- Afraid of the stigma associated with alcoholics
- Afraid that they could lose their job
- Afraid that they could lose their spouse
- Denial of their addiction
Either way, hiding addiction does not make it go away. Addiction does not resolve itself. It takes courage to own up to your addiction and face the disappointment of your loved ones, but it’s the only path to recovery.
Signs of a Closet Alcoholic
A closet alcoholic’s loved ones often struggle to detect the addiction because closet alcoholics invest a lot of time, thought, and energy into covering their tracks. If you suspect a loved one may be a closet alcoholic, there are several physical signs of an alcoholic to look out for. Additionally, although closet alcoholic behavior differs for every addict, there are some common symptoms:
Avoiding Family and Friends
Closet alcoholics tend to avoid functions, events, and celebrations with family and friends because they spend much of their free time drinking alcohol, covering up the signs, and recovering from their alcohol use.
Sudden Disinterest in Hobbies
Alcoholics may drop hobbies and activities they previously enjoyed because most of their time is taken up by their alcohol addiction.
Depression or Anxiety
A common withdrawal symptom of alcoholism, addicts tend to feel anxious or depressed when the effects of the alcohol wear off.
Experiencing Blackouts
Blackouts (gaps in memory for events that occurred while a person was intoxicated) can occur when a person is intoxicated. If it happens often to a loved one, it could be a sign of an alcohol addiction.
Sudden Mood Swings
Drinking alcohol causes euphoria and an overall sense of well-being. However, when the alcohol leaves the body, the addict may feel sad, overwhelmed, anxious, and agitated.
Defensiveness or Denial When Questioned About Alcohol Use
Closet alcoholics resort to lies and denial to cover their negative behaviors from family and friends. Especially when asked about it, they typically deny it and become defensive.
Liver Issues
Excessive alcohol use can cause damage to the addict’s liver. If a loved one is experiencing liver issues, consider if the other signs are present, too.
Extreme Weight Loss
Another effect of excessive alcohol use is losing a large amount of weight, often in a short time frame.
Memory Loss
Alcoholics may experience lapses in their cognitive function, causing them to forget events, places, names, etc. temporarily.
Using Breath Mints Often
Closet alcoholics use breath mints and mouthwash excessively to hide the smell of alcohol.
Unexplained Injuries
While intoxicated, alcoholics may fall, get into a physical fight with somebody, or experience other injuries.
Rarely Suffers From a Hangover
The body develops tolerance as the addict continues to consume alcohol. This means that even after drinking a large amount of alcohol, the addict may not experience a hangover.
What Are a Closet Drinker’s Symptoms Compared to a High-Functioning Alcoholic’s?
There is a slight but integral difference between a closet alcoholic and a high-functioning alcoholic. A closet alcoholic is completely secretive, going to every extreme to hide their behaviors and the consequences of them, which means that their loved ones may not suspect they are using alcohol at all.
On the other hand, a high-functioning alcoholic does not attempt to hide their alcohol consumption completely. They will appear to be in control of themselves and lead productive lives, managing their regular responsibilities (such as holding down a job and maintaining their relationships), which causes them to believe that their alcoholism is not an issue.
Living With a Closet Alcoholic
The loved ones of a closet alcoholic may feel confused, hurt, and frustrated. The behaviors of the addict are often puzzling at best and hurtful at worst. Loved ones may feel like there’s something going on but have no idea what it could be and how to find out, because the addict will deny that anything is amiss. Alcoholism ruining relationships is a common occurrence, unfortunately.
To compound the confusion, closet alcoholics are often able to control their alcohol consumption in public, causing their loved ones to assume that alcoholism isn’t an issue. The alcoholic may also withdraw from their loved ones, isolating themselves to cover up their negative behaviors. Withdrawal can also cause physical and emotional symptoms that appear out of place when the addiction is disclosed.
How to Approach a Loved Closet Alcoholic
As the loved one of a closet alcoholic, you may feel inclined to force the addict to go for help. However, being confrontational and forceful will not achieve the desired result. In fact, the alcoholic will likely feel attacked, causing them to shut down emotionally or deny the issue and try to shift the blame to their healthy loved ones.
Rather, loved ones should approach the closet alcoholic by following these steps:
- Express compassion and concern.
- State what you suspect.
- Offer support and validation.
- Invite the alcoholic to own up to their addiction.
Being supportive allows the alcoholic to feel safe and accepted, which makes it easier for them to take responsibility for their behavior.
Contacting a therapist, counselor, or mental health professional to plan the discussion is advisable. You can learn how to be respectful but firm, encouraging the addict to admit that they have an issue that is too difficult for them to manage on their own, and urging them to find the help they need.
Get Help for a Closet Alcoholic
Admitting to an alcohol addiction is hard, but the alternative is far worse. An addiction that isn’t taken care of becomes progressively worse until life feels unbearable.
If you or your loved one is able to accept their addiction and commit to recovery, reach out to Avenues Recovery Center to receive top-notch care.
At Avenues Recovery rehab facilities, only the top-rated therapists and mental health professionals who have helped thousands of addicts, are employed.
A medical alcohol detox often begins the journey to sobriety. Recovery is a difficult ordeal but with the right support, you can achieve sobriety, serenity, and peace. We use holistic and traditional therapies, as well as personalized treatment plans to ensure optimal success. Our empathetic and caring staff are committed to treating every client with utmost care and respect.
If you are ready to begin your journey to recovery, contact Avenues Recovery today! We will support and guide you every step of the way to the sober future you deserve.